The 'don'ts' in a relationship that I broke to find happiness

By: Calley Kohlhagen

When you are dating or reading advice about dating, how many of you have read things like: don't talk about the last guy you dated on the first date, don't wear your casual weekend clothes in front of him/her, and NEVER EVER EVER get ahead of yourself. But you know what? I'm here to write about the opposite of that. Why? Because my journey has been unconventional yet I've found a love like none before. 

Where do I start? How about my 3 "don't evers!" that I did with my relationship and how it can maybe change the way you date. 

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Don't take your date on road trips with you until it's 'serious'.

Within the first few weeks of 'officially' dating my boyfriend, we actually took a 6 hour road trip (one way) to visit my cousin. So why am I encouraging this? Because, it gave me time to talk to him in a setting that was more comfortable for me. Chill music / not intense eye contact / and no need to worry about what's in my teeth. Essentially, road trips (for me) is a comfort-zone for me. So think about where you find peace. Is it at the lake? Is it working out? Is it hanging out with your friends or family? Where ever you find your happiness, I encourage you to find a way to bring your date into that part of your life. It might not be conventional, but if it's important to you, it should be important to someone you want to have a serious relationship with.

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Don't order a 'big' meal, you need to be lady like.

So my mom isn't going to like this advice I'm going to give - but what's your favorite food? For me, I love getting chicken wings when I go out for a bite to eat. So when I decided to share this tid-bit of info with my boyfriend, surprisingly I found out that he loves wings too! Match made? Maybe ;) Since this (again) is something we both enjoy, it's another piece of my life that I find that I have in common with him. Food might not be the best indicator but being able to make a mess while you eat your wings might be!

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Don't do any major projects with your S.O.

Again, I'm going to challenge this and say that by tackling my home renovation project, I've learned more about my boyfriend through all the projects we have tackled together. Key here is "we." Having activities that we're doing where, at times, he can teach me something new, I'm discovering that we work well as a team. And I've grown to appreciate his opinion. As my parents and friends might say about me - if I have my mind set to something, it's hard to persuade me otherwise. But, I've eased up on 'always knowing best' and allowed someone else in my life to influence what my mind is set on. I'm going to challenge anyone reading (single or not), take today to listen. Essentially that's the key to a successful relationship - being able to hear the other person.

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When you read up on the internet about do's and don'ts - I'm going to encourage YOU (yes you) to decide if it's right for you. Each person has their own quirks and relationship goals. Don't be discouraged to just be yourself, you never know what you might discover along the journey! 

What kind of non-advice would you give to someone? Or have your received any yourself? Comment below!

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